Our Role Models have shared their stories with using PrEP, navigating “magne+ic relationships,” and taking their sexual health into their own hands. Do you have a sexual health story that you would like to share? Questions about sexual health best practices? Contact our Prevention & Sexual Health Team below.
My name is Zayden and Iâd like to share my experience with you. Iâm a Black same-gender loving (SGL) man from Jacksonville. Iâm also an entertainer and a content creator for OnlyFans. Yep, thatâs right, I create explicit video and image content for my fans’ viewing pleasures. You can imagine the amount of judgment I get daily, on and off camera.
Before getting in front of the camera though, I didnât follow the best safe sex practices. I love raw sex. I know itâs not what people expect to hear, but itâs the truth. Knowing my truth helped when I was tested for HIV back in June. The guy testing me suggested PrEP as option. Taking a daily pill would help protect me from HIV.
Iâd never heard of [PrEP] before. I wanted to be safe and set the right examples, but some folks felt it would be safer and easier to just wear condoms. Iâve tried and it doesnât work for me. Besides, I know condoms can break but PrEP protects me up to 99%, when taken as directed. Needless to say, I went back and got a prescription for PrEP and my doctor reminded me that PrEP doesnât protect me from STDs.
Now Iâm able to create content with the reassurance that Iâm promoting safer practices than before. Though some are still not in favor of what I do, at least l have one layer of protection from HIV. I use every opportunity to educate my following about PrEP and how standing in my truth helped me get here.
Hey, whatâs up? Iâm Jerome, a 36-year-old college-educated black man. I was raised by my grandmother in a non-traditional Southern Missionary Baptist home, so yea, we were very religious. For that reason, I donât identify as gay. In my community, we prefer “same-gender loving men.”
I moved to St. Pete to start a new career after graduating college, and prior to relocating I was in a monogamous relationship with an HIV positive partner. I have a degree in social work as well as social science, so I was well-versed in HIV and knew how to protect myself from it. However, because I was on PrEP and he was virally suppressed, we didnât use condoms. Weâd known each other for so many years and I really trusted him, so we practiced having open and honest conversations about adherence to our regimens.
Between my career and network of close friends, I was regularly reminded of the disproportionate impact HIV had on black and brown communities. I currently live in one of the 5 zip codes (33712, 33701, 33711, 33705, and 33713) that account for 44% of new HIV infections in Pinellas County for the past 5 years. In my new role, Iâve found that my decisions to have unprotected sex with an HIV positive partner while on PrEP perpetuated the stigma.
Now that I am single and at lower risk, I can set a better example for my community. I now accessorize my PrEP with condom use in every sexual encounter, regardless of viral suppression or relationship status. I can take pride in knowing I am safe, setting the right example for my community, and enjoying the single lifeâs hook-up culture.
Hi! My name is Aldo, Iâm 23 years old, and I live in sunny St. Pete, Florida. Lately, Iâve been thinking about my experience with sexual health so far. Iâm currently on PrEP with an established testing routine and in a fun open relationship, but it wasnât always like that.
When I was 19, I was young and fresh out of the closet. I was excited and willing to nosedive into any gay experiences. I quickly found myself experimenting with drugs and multiple sexual partners. I was having a blast!
Some time had gone by while I was having my fun. It slowly dawned on me that I had never been tested and I never asked my partners about their sexual health/testing history. It was overwhelming to even rationalize the idea of getting tested because I rarely used condoms with many of my partners. The idea of possibly getting a positive result didnât sit well with my anxiety and depression, so I was struck with analysis paralysis.
Thankfully, a good friend of mine brought me to METRO where I got a free HIV test and some more information on HIV. I didnât know too much about STIâs before my visit, but the sexual health specialist made it easy for me to understand. The specialists recommended getting tested every three months if youâre sexually active, so I try my absolute best to stay on track. I still have my fun, but it makes it far more enjoyable knowing that Iâm sexually responsible and getting tested regularly.
My name is Mitch, I am in my mid 30âs and I had an HIV scare a few years ago that got my act together. I was traveling and decided to treat myself while I was out of town; it was just one guy, whatâs the harm right?
He was hot, beautiful dark skin, intense and so fun. He was super nice and down to earth; we didnât use a condom at all because, what are the chances? I got on my flight early the next morning and when I touched down I got a message from him saying he just got his test results and they had come back reactive for HIV.
I told my doctor and he got me in before that evening, and got me started on nPEP before the deadline (72 hours from initial exposure). I was relieved, but extremely rattled. If my one hookup in months hadnât been an honest dude, I would be HIV+ today.
I told my friend and he told me I should get on PrEP (once a day pill to protect from HIV). I was reluctant. I donât like pills, and even my doctor didnât know much about it. I did my research, talked to people that I knew took it, and I went back and told my doctor that I wanted to get started on PrEP ASAP.
That was a couple years ago now and I am grateful for the scare. Getting started on PrEP allowed me to let down my walls long enough for me to go out and date comfortably, and I even found my fiancé during that time.
Hello, Iâm Jonathan! I am a black, former pro-wrestler living in the heart of Tampa, FL with my wife, Sierra. I have been HIV positive since 1998 and following my initial diagnosis, I have been a stickler for taking my medications every day. Some days are easier than others, but thanks to my beautiful and supportive partner, I find that my will to getting to and staying undetectable is always a top priority in my daily life. My partner and I are always extra cautious in the bedroom because we are a âmagnetic couple,â meaning that I am HIV+ and she is HIV-. Any time we engage in sexual activities we are sure to use a condom, since it became available Iâve been wanting to add another form of protection into the mix: PrEP.
I have had multiple discussions with my partner about starting PrEP over the years, but she always seems to come up with excuses as to why she does not want to. Most commonly, Sierra states that she does not want to take any other medications and since we use protection every time, she doesnât see the importance of starting PrEP. Being that we are well educated and advocates for PrEP, I try to do my best to weigh the pros and cons to better understand her decision, but I still feel the most responsible action would be to start this preventative measure to better protect her. When we chat about PrEP, I typically feel hopeful and our talks never turn into an argument; she knows that I am only trying to keep her safe. Although this has been an ongoing discussion in our home for several years, with no avail, I plan to continue bringing up PrEP in hopes that Sierra will change her perspective on starting the medication.
I am Beau Blair, a 25 year old black guy new to the Tampa area. I have always been the type of person to believe in goals, both in my personal and professional life. Dating new guys, I wanted to make a goal of asking about my partnerâs status. Being HIV negative, open dialogue about status has always been high on my list of priorities.
The more I began to date, the harder the conversations about status became. Most guys focused on the act of jumping into sex right away. Personally, I only used condoms when a guy shared that he could be high-risk or I had an uneasy feeling. Protecting myself by using condoms 100% of the time then became my personal goal. But, with my partners, one mention of status or our last testing dates and all communication came to a halt instantly. To me, knowing goal behavior can shape your future. I began to focus on the places I would frequent and people I was dating and hooking up with.
Once I stepped outside the box and started going to new places, I meet this great guy. This time, rather than focus on sex, he was interested in more dialogue. We both have previously been in long term relationships and found it extremely comfortable to communicate with each other. The focus on upfront communication came from his adherence to PrEP medication.
When the time came for us to talk about our status, it was so easy. We both shared that we were negative, and through open conversation, we both have agreed to set personal goals. My partnerâs goal is to remain steadfast with PrEP. Now, we have been in a relationship for over a year and our sex life couldnât be more safe and sexy.
Heeeyyy! Iâm Jackson, I use he/him pronouns, Iâm twenty-eight, and Iâm all about positive energy, hair and makeup! Tampa is where you can find me if you need a stylist. A little more about me⊠I started taking PrEP about a year ago. But to be honest, I didnât quite see the full benefit of it to me when I started so I wasnât taking the pill every day like I knew I was supposed to. You see, I was in a relationship at the time and even though we occasionally slept with other guys, we both routinely tested for HIV every 3 months and knowing my manâs status, I felt like my risk was slim to none.
You know, so moving forward in life things happen and we ended up parting ways. As fate would have it, in walks my Mr. Right about six months ago. Iâve always been open about getting tested and knowing my status, so it was easy to get to know each other and for him to disclose he is HIV positive.
Meeting this guy and the physical attraction that we have, I knew right away that I would definitely need to step up adherence to my PrEP medication. I knew it was going to be hard remembering to take my PrEP with my rotating schedule of salon and makeup clients, so I created a location reminder on my phone that tells me to take my pill every day when I get to my shop.
As of today, Iâm totally rocking it out. The automatic reminder was the best tool I couldâve implemented, and Iâve only missed maybe two doses in the last six months. Being on PrEP and taking it every day makes me feel so confident in the protection I have, and itâs been so good for my sex life!
Hi, my name is TrĂ©. I am 22 years old, gay, and Latina living in Clearwater. Iâm having fun and taking care of my sexual health, but that wasnât something I always did. A couple of years ago, when I would meet guys from apps I wasnât always safe. When it came down to using condoms, I wanted to, but sometimes it just didnât happen. When I would ask partners to use a condom, they just wouldnât, and I would just go with it. I wanted to be with people more than I wanted to protect myself. The more this happened the more afraid I was of HIV.
About two years ago I took a class about HIV/AIDS and it changed my perspective on being safe. I needed to use protection, not only for myself, but also for others.
Now, I have a new strategy, if I meet people from apps, I make sure to talk about condoms before we meet up. Sometimes people still want to have sex without condoms, but I speak up for myself and refuse. I know that itâs not worth risking the health and safety of my loved ones and myself. Being able to establish that I use condoms every time beforehand helps me feel less stressed.
Now, I feel more in control and aware of how my sexual health impacts the community.
My name is Levi, and I am a 19-year-old Hispanic gay male who has been living in Florida for a few years now. Recently, I met a guy a few cities down through a mutual friend, and since being introduced we got to know each other through social media and even met briefly a couple times in person. Â
After a few months I felt comfortable with this guy (weâll call him Brent), and I just couldnât help but go visit my long distance bae when he invited me! For me, it was more than just a weekend hookup, because I felt a real connection â so much so, I didnât want to use condoms with him.
Some time passed since our weekend rendezvous and about two weeks later Brent sends me a text telling me he had tested positive for HIV. At this moment, I panicked and questioned everything, like âWhy was I so willing to have unprotected sex with him?â and âWhy didnât I ask his status, or when he last got tested?â and I felt very vulnerable in the coming months.
After several bouts of testing, I did come back as non-reactive, but I still felt it was important to make some changes to avoid this type of situation in the future. I took time to reflect and came to the conclusion that I do like to have sex a lot, but not necessarily with people Iâm not super familiar with. With some of the pressure of hookup culture in the gay community I always felt a need to conform, but after my own scare with HIV, it has become more apparent that casual sex is just not for me â and that is okay.
Learning more about my partnerâs own sexual health, condom negotiation, and being more connected on a friendly and/or romantic level is what has proven to work best for my sex life. Currently I have a friends-with-benefits situation that has been working wonderfully, meaning regular testing every three months, condoms, and open conversation about who else weâre seeing and honestly, I love it here!
My name is Chris. Iâm 48, was born and raised in Philadelphia, and now live in St. Petersburg, FL. I began going out at age 16, at the height of the AIDS epidemic, and was always aware of safe sex practices, but didnât always protect myself even into early adulthood. In my younger days in Philly, my friends and I would go out on the town and have a lot of fun, and a LOT of sex! Hell, we even used to have contests to see how many guys we could sleep with in one nightâI wasnât usually the winner of this contest! We werenât particularly afraid of getting sick ourselves because, at that time, it seemed that only the older guys from the 70âs party scene were getting sick, so I continued to go out and have my fun as I became a young adult and moved to Tampa.
One day, my roommate got me involved with Tampa AIDS connection, and I saw up close what HIV could really do to people. It made me realize that this illness is not a joke and that I could very well become a statistic. My roommate reaching out and my exposure to what HIV was doing to my community made me shape up and start telling guys, âYouâre not f***ing me without a condom!â I experienced some good-natured chiding about it from my close friendsâin fact, whenever I would turn down a guy because he didnât want to be safe, my friends would always say, âBut heâs HOT,â and Iâd reply, âYeah, he isâŠbut heâs not!â
Reminding myself of the terminally ill people I metâwhat they went through, and how they became my friendsâhelped to keep me focused on the risk to myself and the fact that condomless sex just isnât worth it. Over 20 years later, Iâm still here, still kicking, still HIV negative, still consistently using condoms, and happy to share my story.
Ăa va! Iâm Dreaux, originally from Louisiana and in love with St. Pete. Since moving here two years ago, Iâve had some awesome things happen to me. I was really excited about all the new opportunities I had, including meeting new guys. Fun times for a 26 year old! So I met a guy that I clicked physically with (a lot), who is HIV positive and undetectable. By this point I had already done my research and understood that itâs virtually impossible to transmit the virus when someone is âundetectable.â I had also done extensive research on PrEP and the effectiveness of it when you take it daily like they tell you to.
Before I met this guy I didnât feel like I really needed PrEP, but when I thought about the basically zero chance of HIV transmission between PrEP and undetectable, it was a no brainer. I had never been on daily meds before so remembering to take it every day was hard and I missed doses like once or twice a week. It took me a good two months before I got into the groove of things, but I knew that the only way I would get the most protection was to take it every day. I finally figured out that if I put the pill bottle next to the moisturizer I use daily that it would be in my face, so to speak.
Iâve been on PrEP for about a year and now I rarely miss a dose. Ok so maybe I might miss like once a month, but since Iâve been on it Iâm happy to say that Iâve been able to maintain a healthy sex[ual] relationship with the guy because of the confidence I have in PrEP, and Iâve never felt better about my sexual wellness and security. I really recommend you try it.
Hola, mi nombre es Johnny. Soy un varĂłn Latino de 23 años. Vivo en Tampa, FL, y estoy saliendo con un hombre que es VIH positivo, pero indetectable. Muchos me dicen que estoy loco, pero en el momento en que lo vi, supe que Ă©l era el Ășnico para mi. A el que yo me entregarĂa completamente; en todos los aspectos, ya sea emocional, mental o fĂsicamente.
Cuando se trataba del sexo sabĂa de la posibilidad de contraer el VIH, asĂ que necesitaba asegurarme que yo estarĂa bien. QuerĂa seguir siendo negativo, so la primera soluciĂłn que me vino a la mente fueron los condones. Esto es un dolor de cabeza para mĂ porque amo la sensaciĂłn del sexo sin condĂłn. El sexo con condĂłn simplemente no es lo mismo.
Una noche mi novio y yo estĂĄbamos viendo la tele y saliĂł un comercial que promovĂa el nuevo condĂłn de HEX. Me encantaba cĂłmo se veia el condĂłn; era fuerte y me permitia sentir todas las sensaciones. Decidimos darle una oportunidad y fue increĂble, incluso me olvidĂ© que el tenia puesto un condĂłn.
Ahora que sé que existen muchas variedades de condones, amo tener sexo con protección. La mejor parte es que puedo mantener una relación saludable con mi enamorado y mantener mi estatus negativo. Si nosotros pudimos hacerlo usted también lo puede hacer.
Hello! My name is Adam, and Iâm 38 years old living with HIV in sunny Tampa, FL. Before living here, I actually spent most of my life in LA. There, I was able to do some cool stuff, like hop on a popular drag queen television show and other neat TV opportunities. Shortly after riding the rollercoaster that is Hollywood, I jumped into new personal experiences. I was going through bouts of depression, so I started using drugs because my friends were doing it. They said it helped them with the things they were going through, so I decided to help myself out.
I didnât think much of the consequences associated with needle use, especially needle sharing. School only taught us that drugs were bad, but they didnât really dive into the biological effects, such as HIV and Hep C. There would be days where I would spend hours on end sharing drugs with friends and people I barely knew. It wasnât until I was diagnosed with HIV in 2014 when I realized that I needed to kick this habit, but I wasnât sure how. It was tough when I had friends that used all the time.
It took a while, but I removed myself from my triggers and turned to my family for help. They helped me find healthy coping mechanisms, like therapy and social support groups. I havenât used since then, and Iâm thankful for my family for keeping me on track to living a healthy life with HIV and depression.
Hi, Iâm Phillip. My partner and I have been in a monogamous relationship for the last six years, and we recently agreed to open up our relationship. We were able to make this decision as a same-gender-loving Black couple once we both recognized our needs to expand our palates sexually.
As a man working in healthcare, I felt that we needed to make a point of being safe while having our sexual encounters. Over time, however, I found that at different events and scenarios, condoms and sexual health talks just werenât happening in the heat of everything. Then, after a potential exposure to HIV it became very real that safer sex needed to be taken more seriously in our relationship.
My biggest concern was not only contracting any type of STI or compromising my own health, but especially passing anything to my partner. I knew about PrEP but I didnât feel like I needed it, because I didnât think I was at a real risk for contracting HIV. I thought âIâm not out there like that.â Now that my risk factors have changed, my hesitancy shifted towards not wanting to be judged for being on PrEP, as many people (even some in my immediate circle) would slut shame those taking PrEP. But I knew this was the right step to take.
Having a friend who was already on the medication who gave me some perspective ultimately helped me make the decision to get started. My friend reminded me that otherâs judgements about what you do for your own health is irrelevant. People use PrEP for many different reasons. In the end, we have set appointments to get started on PrEP and will be living our best lives because of it.
Contact Prevention and Sexual Health by filling out the form below or calling 727-321-3854Â for more information.
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